a friend of mine had a party this weekend that i didn’t attend. i didn’t have a proper excuse. i just didn’t go. when he asked me weeks in advanced, i told him i wouldn’t go. the night of the party he was surprised i didn’t show up.
i used to like going to parties. i’m not sure what changed. i still love to drink. if anything, more than ever. too much. but i stopped going to parties once i was old enough to purchase my own liquor.
that’s not entirely true. i enjoy room parties at anime conventions, but something about the setting makes me more comfortable. people make me nervous. when i’m at a party i feel like there’s an expectation that i socialize with everyone. when that doesn’t happen, i just feel anxious.
there isn’t any pretense when it comes to room parties. no one goes to a room party to hang out. we’re all there for the free drinks. sometimes people will stay in a room for an extended period of time. but most people leave after they get their drink and move on to the next room.
an anime convention room party, for those outside of the fandom, is an officially sanctioned party generally held in a hotel room. from what i understand, they’re mostly a midwestern phenomenon.
several of these room parties will be held in a section of the hotel, each serving a different type of adult beverage. you only get one drink at a time so most people rotate between all the parties to maximize alcohol efficenticy.
i’m not sure why people hold these parties. they aren’t being paid, and they usually only make enough tip money to cover the cost of the booze. but they do it every year. bless their hearts.
something about non-convention parties turns me off. i don’t like being surrounded by people. and the weird glorification that surrounds getting intoxicated is strange to me. i drink all the time. there’s nothing special about it, and i don’t need an excuse to do it.
my relationship with alcohol is strange. i drink almost daily, but the goal is rarely to get drunk. i do. often. but the reason changes every time. sometimes it’s depression. sometimes it’s boredom. it’s almost always to help me sleep.
having a new bed has helped with my insomnia greatly. i’ve been falling asleep faster and staying asleep. i’ve been waking up with minor back pain, but i think that’s my body getting used to the mattress. i received an email from nolah saying that it could take a month my body to adjust fully.
considering i haven’t slept in a real bed in over a decade, with the exclusion of the occasional hotel visit, i wouldn’t be surprised if it took longer.